i Dream Things

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail… but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, “Damn… that was fun!”

Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.

The world situation always seems to me like people killing each other over chocolate -vs- vanilla, when I don’t even want ice cream.

In the 60’s people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

“It’s sad when someone you know becomes someone you knew.”

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is buy a replacement.

Some people are like Slinkies – not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but giggle when you see one tumble down the stairs.